all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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