I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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