Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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