We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
