so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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