I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
