woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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