She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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