i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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