Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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