well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
