genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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