Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
