I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
