He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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