i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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