please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize