That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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