clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
