i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
