Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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