Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
