It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
