I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
