i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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