Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
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i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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