Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
