11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
