Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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