The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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