Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
