Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
