dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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