Sry I called you an 8
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
