she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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