I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
