Pappa wants mamma naked
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
