dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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