Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
