South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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