I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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