What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize