YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
