So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Terrible idea I love it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
