We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize