Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
