i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
love makes seman taste better
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
