Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
