Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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