are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
