so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
