What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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