an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
