so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
