there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
