Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
