i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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