highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
