You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
