My cat gives me a boner
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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