I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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