If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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