I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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