Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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