wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize