I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
